Do you ever find yourself in a situation where you feel like you’re stuck? You feel like life sucks? You feel trapped by your circumstances? Do you ever wonder what life would’ve been like if you had chosen a different path? A different job? A different degree to study? What would life have been like today if you had chosen a different spouse?
If you had never gotten married? If your parents had been different? Would your life be much different than it is today? Would you be much happier? Would you be a different person?
Do you sometimes lament choices you made? Or, do you think you never had any choice? Do you believe in destiny? I think that we choose our destiny, but we are indeed given lessons to learn in this lifetime.
Each of us are given one or two big lessons to learn, which will be repeated over and over again until we finally learn them. This lesson, will show up in our lives repeatedly, in various forms, until we finally figure it out. It is up to us to keep our senses alive and aware of when these lessons pop up. Be reflective of patterns in your life. You might, for example, find that you attract the same kind of people into your life.
Or you might start to realize that you constantly feel a certain way with various people. For instance, you might find yourself saying, “I always feel like everyone uses me.” Or, you might think, “Why do I always fear change?” Do you find yourself always worrying about money and security?
There are endless examples. Just reflect on your current life and past and try to find certain patterns of feeling, thinking or behaving. Most likely what you find is your big life lesson. Once you recognize it, you almost immediately react differently to those situations when the lesson rears its head again. You will become more aware of certain people you attract into your life. You will become more aware of your own behaviors. Notice how you will shift your energy just be becoming aware of it at all.
Recognizing your chosen life lesson is half the battle!
We are given these challenges in life in order to grow as souls. This, in my opinion, is why we are here on this earth—the school of life. This is how you can finally learn your lessons and move on to the next level of awareness and spiritual development:
Think about it. It’s pretty simple folks. Just by realizing that you have one or two big lessons that will follow you around your entire life will set you on the path to learning them.
Meditate: Eckhart Tolle taught us a little meditation to help us go within ourselves and get to know our higher selves. All you need to do is sit quietly, close your eyes and ask yourself “Who am I?” If you hear an answer in your head, that answer is wrong. The answer will not come from thoughts in your head. That is the ego talking, you lower self, so-to-speak. Listen deeper, and there will be no “answer”; you will simply feel your higher self within you. Doing this will make you more aware and mindful as you go about your day.
Take notes: Carry around a little notebook for a week or two and write down any times you experience something that bothers you, makes you angry, annoyed, sad, etc. Try to write down every single time you feel a negative emotion and jot down what happen and who was involved. Then go back after a couple of weeks and see if you find any patterns.
Review your insights and try to identify any patterns and jot down ideas about what key learning here is. For instance, if you’re constantly putting money first, making money your only basis for decision-making, try to meditate on what it is you are truly afraid of. Dig deep and think about whether your parents or past has shaped that fear. Or perhaps your family history and ancestors have shown the same pattern which you are now having to deal with yourself, because that lesson was never learned by them?
Make a game plan: If you’ve been able to see patterns, try to give yourself a set of guidelines of how to deal with this lesson when it comes up again. Perhaps it would help to get a coach or even a counselor to help with this step. If you want to break the cycle of putting money and security before everything, try doing the exact opposite for once. I’m not saying go put yourself in debt or quit your job; I just mean try asking yourself, for example, if I didn’t have to worry about money, would I do this or not? Would I stay or would I go? Would I choose this career or different one? Sometimes we simply cannot, for example, quit our desk job to become a rock star; but we could stop using our fear of money and security as an excuse, and instead, go join a band in our free time. If you feel like people always take advantage of you, try to define for yourself how to say “no” more often. Define the boundaries that are acceptable for you and stick to them. Take small steps towards learning your lesson.
You never know what’s going to happen to you in life. But you can be sure it will work out. Everything that occurs can be dealt with. Take care to make your decisions wisely, with heart and with the mind. Have vision. Develop goals that support your vision. Use those goals as a roadmap. Make sure they conform to what your heart is telling you. Update your roadmap when necessary.
It is true that some decisions seem impossible to make. But realize, that when faced with a tough decision each option is a good one. Each option is just a different option. Nothing more, nothing less. There is no option that cannot be lived. It is your choice. You are never really stuck.
You might have to accept the menu life serves you, but you can choose the dishes you want to eat. Enjoy them. Each has its own flavor, and its own nutrients. You are what you eat. You are what you choose. Life is a series of choices. You are sometimes forced with decisions resulting from circumstances life confronts you with. But you have a choice of how to deal with those circumstances. You always have a choice!
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