Do you know how it feels to want something in your life to change, but you have so many things in your head that you just can’t figure out what to do? Do you feel frazzled sometimes? Like, you need to move forward with a problem you’re facing but you’re so overthinking things that it’s impossible to even know what you’re thinking?
Does that even make sense? I mean, Let’s say you know you’re not happy with how things in your life are going, but you’re not quite sure what it is. After all, you’re grateful for your kids, your relationship is ok, you’ve got some good friends, and your career is pretty good too. What’s really to complain about?
Yet, you feel unhappy. You feel “blah”. And you know you don’t want to feel that way. You ask yourself, “Is it even possible to feel joy, or is that simply unrealistic in this life?” After all, no marriage is perfect. No job is always fun. Right? But you still feel like there has to be more to life than this. It’s almost as if you are invisible.
Does that sound familiar?
Listen. When you start noticing this “blah” feeling of dissatisfaction, disorientation, dis-ease, you need to change something. But how can you change something if you don’t know WHAT?! #preach
Having a feeling of dissatisfaction is a sign that you’ve stopped listening to your own inner voice. You’ve been letting your mind – that inner critic – get in the way of your inner expert.
This doesn’t happen overnight. You see, there are all kinds of things that keep us from HEARING and LISTENING to our inner voice, our wise master.
1. Expectations of parents & family
2. Expectations of society.
3. Your own inner beliefs that are subconsciously driving your decisions and actions.
4. Distractions from constantly being “busy” and “on”
5. Social media (everyone seems to be an expert about how YOU should FEEL).
6. Fear & anxiety.
I’m sure there are more to add to that list, but you get my gist. There are all kinds of things that are standing in your way of knowing what is right for YOU and knowing how to get there.
In fact, if you are an intelligent, proactive, go-getter type of person, you are probably extremely good at achieving goals you set out. The problem is, you’ve been setting the WRONG GOALS! You keep achieving all kinds of things that are not aligned with what you truly want and desire. So the initial jolt of satisfaction of achieving or reaching a goal only lasts a while before it eventually dwindles back to the baseline of “Blah”.
So how can you get out of this mess?
Honey, I’m right there with you. And I’ll tell you how I did it. (Yes, I was there myself.)
Here are the basic steps you can take to start hearing and listening to your inner voice again, so that you can set the RIGHT goals and go out and get them!
1. Start small. Start by keeping your inner eye out for small impulses to do things. If you drive by an ice-cream parlor, for example, and notice a tiny, split-second thought that says, “Oh, that’d be yummy right now,” stop your car and get yourself some ice-cream! Even if you don’t want to pig out, or you’re on a diet. Just get one small scoop. PRACTICE LISTENING TO YOUR INNER VOICE on the small stuff.
2. Start listening to that critical voice. Pay attention to anytime you notice certain thoughts that are critical, judgmental or holding you back in some way. “Nah, I can’t do that well.” Or “I don’t have enough time. There’s never enough time in the day.” Or “Oh well, that’s life; you can’t change it.” Now there might be much meaner thoughts in your head too. Pay attention to them. Notice when they pop up, what are you doing? What was your impulse or desire? How does that critical thought make you feel? How did you react to it?
3. Practice, practice, practice! Keep practicing steps 1 & 2 for a while, writing down your experiences. This stuff is MUSCLE TRAINING, ya’ll!
You can get out of your head and unstuck in your life. It takes practice learning to listen to your own voice, the true voice and sifting out the mess “up there”. But it is possible and it’s worth it!
Try these three steps and let me know how it’s going in the comments or DM! I’d love love love to hear from you!