Yes, you read that correctly. What sanctions? I am no longer allowed to purchase online training or nonfiction books.
I have spent so much money on training and books in the past couple of years, that I could rent an Italian villa for three weeks with the money I’ve spent. I’ve just been thinking about this lately. I keep buying these trainings and noticing how it actually stressesme out each time. It stresses me out because I know that I will neither have time to finish the training nor will I even START them! And yet, I continue to buy them.
I have been asking myself this lately. What is my problem? And it occurred to me this morning under the shower: I keep trying to consume more information and collect more expertise before allowing myself to just start creating content and helping others. I keep thinking I need to know more, I need to become MORE of an expert. Yes, I need to know EVERYTHING there is to know about everything before starting!
Hello, I’m Kerri, and I’m a perfectionist.
There. I said it. (Whew, that’s a relief.)
I have been unwittingly trying to be absolutely PERFECT before I put myself out there!
Do you know what the dumbest thing about this is? My entire business is based on coaching and mentoring overthinkers to get out of their heads so they can live a happier, more fulfilled, and take-charge life. (I’m giggling at the irony as I type.)
Isn’t it ironic though? I teach people to stop overthinking, stop being perfectionistic, and start achieving the kind of life that will make them happy and fulfilled, and I’m preventing myself from doing just that because I’m overthinking and stuck in my own absurd expectations.
What I’ve found over the past several years of coaching successful clients is that perfectionistic overthinkers tend to be high-achievers and highly functional adults. The problem is this: They are so good at achieving goals and are often so filled with self-doubt from their over-active minds, that they get stuck in a vicious cycle of running after goals that aren’t aligned with what will actually make them happy. And because they are sooooo good at achieving stuff, they just keep running around all the time achieving, well, stuff. Having an overactive mind is a bitch, isn’t it? I liken our minds to a jungle, or as a colleague of mine, Paula Prober, says, a rainforest mind.
The thing is: perfectionism – at its core – is nothing more than self-doubt. Self-doubt is a part of overthinking.
Overthinking is nothing more than PAYING TOO MUCH ATTENTION TO YOUR THOUGHTS!
We have something like up to 60,000 thoughts in our heads EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Nearly 85% of those thoughts tend to be negative. And approximately 95% of those thoughts are the same damn ones from the day before. Yep. We are literally playing the same record (or playlist for all you young people) over, and over, and over, and over, and over again.
We get up each morning and start unconsciously looking for situations and scenarios to which to apply those thoughts. Absurd, right?
I know a lot of people tell me they try to just not have thoughts or push their thoughts aside. I disagree with this. Your thoughts are THERE. You cannot just get rid of them.
But you CAN learn to let your thoughts just be there and not get entangled in them.
Your thoughts are nothing more than brain activity. When you get caught up in thoughts, you are basically just overly noticing your brain activity. How about you try to just notice THAT you have brain activity?
When you start to notice how active your mind is, WHILE it’s active – aka you find yourself worrying, or overthinking – you can take an inward step back and just notice how freaking active your mind is.
This is the first step towards clearing the jungle up there, so you find the right path to your own inner voice – the voice that is already the EXPERT.
You are already your own expert. You just have to sift through that jungle.
So, you might be asking how to start doing this? It takes training. If you want to get a little taste of how to do this, check out my nice, guided meditation right here:
Your jungle mind is colorful, vibrant, and full of all kinds of treasures. See if you can start sifting through the weeds to find them.
If you think someone with a jungle mind might want to read this, please share it on your social media or with others. Friends don't let friends overthink!!